Music and my kids!

So all I listen to in the car with my kids is Christian radio, or Pink Floyd. My kids have listened to Pink Floyd since they were in my belly. We used to put head phones on my stomach and play Pink Floyd for them. As soon as they could talk they started asking for Pink Floyd. I want my kids to listen to and appreciate all kinds of music, but I want them to know about what I consider to be the greats of Rock. They love it. They love watching Jimi Hendrix at the Monterey Pop Festival, and Pink Floyd in concert (Pulse live). They can't get enough.
Things have changed so much. I can't even let them listen to most of the rock that's out now. Their are Christian rock bands that I do let them listen to, but most of it is so awful. I want them to know what all the instruments sound like, look like, how they work. Classical music too. Although that doesn't always hold their attention.
Music was such a huge part of my childhood. It has always been a way to escape for me. For some it's books, it was always music for me. I want my kids to know that same thing. Just like books and movies, music can take you to a different place. Anywhere you want to go. Different music can take you to different places. I don't remember a whole lot about my childhood, but if I hear a song from then, it takes me right back to those times. I'm so blessed that I had a Dad that listened to all kinds of music and kept me in choirs. That's what I want to pass on to my boys. A love and appreciation for all kinds of music. I'm very fortunate (I guess) that my husband works where he can get instruments. My children have already had the opportunity to have their own guitar, violin, trumpet, and drums. I love that they love music.

Vacation!!!

So, I'm off work for a few days and I will have both, (well all 3) boys with me the whole time. I am looking forward to spending time with all of them. I am however going to have to practice patience. Between all 3 of them being crazy hyper all the time I think it might be more calming to be at work. But I'm optimistic! I think as long as I keep them busy the whole time, maybe we will not get upset or crazy with each other!
With that said, we are going to slip n' slide, swim, watch movies, play outside, hopefully do some fireworks, have food off the grill, play with cousins, go to the park, and whatever else I can think of. I'm going to try to teach my boys that playing outside is way more fun than video games. A hard thing to do I know, but it's driving me crazy that they get "board" when we make them play outside! My sister and I used to play outside all day, until it started to get dark! We never got board and we never wanted to come inside! We even ate outside. My kids have so much energy you would think they would be the same way. But thanks to video games, they have no imagination. It's sad really. I do now regret ever getting the video games, but you want your kids to "fit in" and have what all the other kids have. So I know I'm to blame for most out it, but I don't think it's to late. I think I can turn this around! I hope I can anyway.
As I'm typing this my youngest is running around saying, "Look at me, I'm half man half bird!!!" I know it's not to late for him! He's to funny!!! My oldest, on the other hand is just so crazy! He's either running around hitting and kicking (playing not fighting) or sitting in front of his game. I'll let you know how this all turns out. Right now I must get off the computer as the boys are getting restless!!!

This and that

So I had an awesome day today! Don't know really what made it so wonderful, other than I went into it thinking, it's going to be an awesome day. It really was!
I have a fantastic job, could not be more blessed to be where I'm at, with the people I'm with and a super terrific boss! Coming home today was the icing on the cake. My boys, crazy like always, but we had a lot of fun tonight.
So with all that said, I'm laying in bed and I can't sleep. Why?? Because my heart is so heavy. I have lost people in my life without getting to tell them what they mean to me, and how they impacted my life. I have moved on and learned from this. It did however take me YEARS to do so.
My heart is not heavy because of the people I have already lost form this world, but because I have people that are still here, and I don't know if they know how I feel. Everyday could be the last day, for any of us. Is there something you should or need to say to someone, before it's to late? Before you can't say it? I'm so sad to say there is for me. It is, however, easier to give advice than to take your own advice. I have laid awake in bed, night after night, tossing and turning (not every night), because of this for a number of years. The only way I know how to fix it is to talk to these people and tell them how I feel.
This is where the problem lies. I just really don't know how to get started. For some people in my life it's been so easy to tell them exactly how I feel about them and what they mean to me, no problem. I can usually always find words for anything. But I literally don't have any idea of how to go about this with other people in my life.
But, the time has come, I have to resolve this. I can't wait to do it anymore, because like I said before, you just never know what tomorrow holds. So I pray for strength, words, and open ears. Onward with optimism!

NATALIE GRANT LYRICS - In Better Hands

NATALIE GRANT LYRICS - In Better Hands: "It's hard to stand
On shifting sand
It's hard to shine
In the shadows of the night
You can't be free
If you don't reach for help
And you can't love
If you don't love yourself
But there is hope when my faith runs out...
Cuz I'm in better hands now

[Chorus:]
It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin' down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine
There's no doubt
I'm in better hands now

I am strong
All because of you
I stand in awe of
Every mountain that you move
I am changed
Yesterday is gone
I am safe
From this moment on...
And there's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now

[Chorus]

It's like the sun is shining
When the rain is pourin' down
It's like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
It's like the world is silent
Though I know it isn't true
It's like the breath of Jesus
Is right here in this room
So take this heart of mine
There's no doubt
I'm in better hands now"

Optimistic

Optimistic.
So, I typed this whole blog on being optimistic, and how people who know me know that that's not something you think of when you think of me. I said I need to trust that God has a bigger plan for my life than just what I can see in front of me. I said how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family, all of them. I don't know why God chose to bless someone that is so pessimistic and depressed all the time, but that is how God works. I owe my whole life to Him. He's always been faithful to me. I just get so stuck in the here and now that I forget that God is in control. I need to take a breath and just live my life today how God would want me to. Then tomorrow wake up and do it all over again. I need to not worry about what my future holds. I really just want to be happy and optimistic about my life. So I need to let it go. Whatever storms come I need to trust that God will see me and my family through them.
Anyway, I typed the whole blog and pushed some button and the whole thing disappeared! I turned and looked at my husband. I said my blog is about being optimistic, and the whole thing just went away and I can't get it back. I didn't get mad I didn't get frustrated, I laughed. I just laughed, and started typing all over again. This is nothing like the first one. It's much shorter in fact. But you know what, it's okay! I laughed at something that normally would have made me so mad I wouldn't have even started over. So a good start, to being optimistic. At least I think so.

Oh I forgot, this song by Natalie Grant, "In Better Hands", I can't figure out how to put music on here so in a different blog I'm going to post the lyrics. I love this song so much, because it just reminds me that I'm in better hands than my own. No matter what happens, I'm in better hands.

I laughed!!!! :)

Here I Go...

So I thought I'd jump on the blogger band wagon, just to see if it helps me feel better. I used to write every day. All my feelings and everything, then I just got so busy, I guess life just got in the way. Anyway, I've been having that alone in a crowded room feeling very much lately. I feel like anytime I'm talking to anyone, even people that are supposed to care, it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. Like they could really care less about what I have to say. I just remember a piece of advice one of my very oldest and dearest friends gave me a while back, "write". So I'm going to. I'm going to send my words out into the world. At least this blank page can't look at me like it has no idea what I'm talking about!



One of the things that got me thinking about writing is really funny actually, a friend posted on their FB page a quote "Lord, please keep Your arm around my shoulders and Your hand over my mouth. Amen." That prayer is so fitting for me. I get so mad and upset at the most ridiculous things and I take it out on the people I love more than anything in this whole world, my poor Husband and my two little boys. Now anyone that knows me knows I have a very bad anger problem, a very short fuse. I'm trying hard to work on it, but that comes at a price. You see it's like a game, anything you want to get better at you have to practice, right? Well I don't want to loose my temper all the time so I think God puts things in my path all day long just to test it out, just for practice. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of blowing a fuse before realizing that this is just a test, then I feel really stupid. Especially when it comes to my poor kids. I just think to myself, "They are just kids, CHILL OUT!!!"



The thing is being mad and upset all the time is really crappy. I don't want to be this way. People think being happy is just something you make up your mind to be. Well I have news, it's not that easy for everyone! I would love to just say, "from this moment on, I'm going to be a happy person!" but my brain doesn't work that way, my mind can't figure that out. Sure I have happy times, not nearly as many as I'd like to have, but I think I can get there. More happy times than sad times I mean. That's wear the whole shutting my mouth thing comes in. Stop talking and yelling so much. Shut up and listen....